[holy memes and kosmic blog starters] Week 12: Food! Yum! :: Friday 5

:: Friday Five :: Week 12 :: Food! ::
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This week's topic was suggested by Paisley. Thanks so much!

1) What is your philosophy on food?

My philosophy on food is, if it tastes good, it is probably not healthy for you.  For instance, one visit to Taco Bell will warrant a complete Colo-Rectal exam no question.  A Happy Meal at McDonalds will leave you miserable and if you chug a bucket at KFC?  Take a sleeping bag into the bathroom!!  If you love your spouse and your bed, eat lint and drywall paste.  The after-taste takes a little getting used to, but it doesn't leave you folded into the shape of a blintz cramping, and you won't have to staple the covers on the mattress because of excessive tail pipe malfunction.  But if you insist on eating a diet that can only be purchased at a 7-11, then have mercy on your family and install a catalytic converter and try to find some mint flavored suppositories.

2) What's your favorite kind of food? Why?

 My favorite kind of food is anything that doesn't have a fat Italian guy on it, does not have an ingredient called "cheese food product" in it, doesn't require power tools to make it, and won't foul my sleeping bag too badly.  So that leaves me with Taco Bell and McDonalds Happy meals.  Those aren't necessarily my favorite, but they are convenient and I kinda like the coolness of the bathroom floor.

3) What qualities do you seek in the food you eat?

   If I purchase a product with a picture of solid food on it and when I open it, it includes a straw, that makes me madder than Elvis losing a donut.  I look for edibility and in some cases I look for the food.  I like fresh fruits and veggies.  Especially when the local playhouse is doing Julie Andrews musicals. 

4) How can you use food in worship/ritual/spiritual practices?

That's easy.  By giving and sharing.  I firmly believe that if Mama Cass had shared some of that chicken with Karen Carpenter, they might both still be alive today!

5) What is missing in today's eating habits? What's missing in your eating habits?

 So far the only people I know with eating habits are clergy.  Other than that, I think manners got lost globally in 1972 or was that 73?  I can't remember.  It coincided with the gas crunch which at the time I thought was an exercise.  I still try not to fart in restaurants.  It's one of my goals.  Honest!

Optional: 6) Have any favorite recipes you want to share? (Even if you don't cook...)

2 lbs ground beef.

3 qts latex house paint of a color of your choosing.  Think seasonal.

1 anvil

2 or 3 passes of a sweaty gym sock over a cheese grater

1 cat hair

Ibuprofen to taste

stir briskly with a teenager's sneaker until fumes overtake you.

Serves five mooching neighbor's kids gauranteed never to come back!

E Buzz outtie!!