Oh Crap.., I've Been Tagged!

     Thanks Rod for coercing me into bludgeoning all of these nice folks with some sort of grammatical clubbing.  "Butt Wad" Rod tagged me, so now I have to kiss and tell five torrid secrets about me that nobody knows unless they surf the internet, read books, drool slightly in their sleep, or have figured out that I am actually Bob Saget.  I don't keep secrets really and I wear pretty much all of me on my shirt sleeves which is unfortunate, especially on days like today when I am under the throes of a vicious cold and I am out of Kleenex.  So alot of what I am wearing is currently under a stage 5 flood of snot and vulgarities.  Hey!  That was at least two things you didn't know, huh?!  I know, I know, they don't count.  Woosies.  I should be able to play any way I want.  THPPPPPPPPPPT!!!  So there.  Hmmmph.

One:  I do not, in any way, shape or form, under any circumstances, including under severe duress, enjoy Musicals.  It really bothers me that these people can't seem to ever convey their deepest epitomized intentions without breaking into glass-shattering, rapturous melody.  I have a low saccarin tolerance and some of the stuff I have been forced to identify as entertainment was enough for me to spontaneously contract Type II Diabetes and about flatline from Insulin Shock.  A severe analogy I know.  It is a lovely malevolent form of intimate detestation.  Musicals should be relegated to the use of Diaper ads, Sex Education and helping me understand why Math exists.  Beyond those, in my humble opinion, very loose and tolerant and slightly flexible boundaries, should be a crime punishable by  public noodle flogging and a rousing game of marathon butt darts.

Two:  I do not, do not, DO NOT, like, brussel sprouts, lima beans, jello, spam, Kraft anything, or fake Italian stuff that comes from a can with a picture of a big, fat Italian guy on it.  Oddly enough, I think that if you combine those ingredients we may have the secret adhesive that NASA is using to hold the tiles on the Shuttle.  This is why most of the astronauts suffer from a little known affliction called Re-entry Stench.  Just bad news.  They only logistical combatant against it is to O.D. on Tic-Tacs and Mint Flavored Suppositories.

Three:  I am Claustro/Agoraphobic.  I have a slight hearing dissorder that was brought about by three childhood sessions of ruptured ear drums.  Waking up deaf with no sound but the pulsing blood in my auditory canals and blood oozing from either ear took it's toll on me.  If I am say, in an environment like a shopping mall or bus station or any some such busy place, I hear whispering, horns, engines, birds, children, and all of it at the same decible level.  It then becomes audio mud and feels like tightly closing in walls of sound burgeoning in on me.  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHGHGHGHGHGG!!!!  By the way, Musicals fit into this category quite nicely.  Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

Four:  I ate the paste on the square of construction paper on my desk at school.  It was delicious.  I have no regrets.  Leave me alone.

Five:  Some of my anatomy is prehensile and some of it is vestigial.  "Hmmmmm" you say.  What pray tell could that mean?  Bah!!  Some secrets I will never tell.  Only my Wife and the Undertaker will know!

     There.  I did it.  It was excrutiating.  I hope this satiates you Rod.  A dirty, filthy trick.  What, some moppet invents a questionaire and it comes to you and now we are all Karmically adhered to air our dirty laundry and bawdy business for all to read?!  Cool.  I'm gonna tag somebody good......Bwaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahaha!

P.S. ~C4 says to remember to tag your secrets with "five things" so's we can all laugh at you!

Sorry Asses I have tagged!

David
Kelly
Matthew
Stuart
Stuart

Buzz

Update or Upchuck, you decide:

P.S.p.s.  Ah geeez!!!!!  My P-shooter won't even shoot P!!  Dang.  Most of the rotten bastards I tagged already got nabbed by some other varmit.  Talk about puttin' a knife in a dead horse!  I know!  I will tag some low-life, earwax eatin', Picard is better than Kirk votin', Can't read the profile for all the graphics, wedgie-wranglin', Can't wait for GTA VII: Quebec Whores, Pop tart O.D.'in, Net-Flix addicted My Space Mondo Geek.  Anybody thought of that yet?!  Huh?!  Thought not.  You Birkenstock wearin', Tofu flingin', anti-establishment, Free Range Oven usin' , Unborn Gay Transgender Organic Whales For Jesus supportin' open mind, you!

My New Tag List!!

Toothless Betty Mitchell,  Tornado Alley Trailer Estates Manager - My Space.com
Beano Barney Batista,  Security Guard for Tumbleweed Security - Your Space.com
Hacking Harry Phlegm,  Consumate Transit Bus Critic - Our Space.com
Herkimer Shagnasty,  Common Citizen - Outer Space.com
Mary Beth Sue Ellen Jo Bob,  Hairstylist/Southern Bell - Head Space.com

You have been Re-Buzzed!